By Seyi Gesinde
May 23, 2026
Convener of the Family Impact Network, Dr Bosade Ogunlana, has charged ministers of the gospel to return to genuine intimacy with God, warning that many homes and ministries are suffering because relationships behind closed doors no longer reflect what is preached publicly.
Dr Ogunlana spoke during the opening session of REFRESH 2026 Ministers Couples Retreat, organised by Family Impact Network, on Saturday, May 23, 2026, at Jogor Centre, Ring Road, Ibadan, where she delivered a stirring message on the theme, “Why We Are Here.”
She warned that unresolved conflicts, emotional disconnection and hidden bitterness among ministers are weakening families, damaging the church and negatively influencing congregations.
“How can you be keeping malice with each other for days and still mount pulpit without fear? You still preach, you still minister as if nothing is wrong,” she said.
The marriage counsellor lamented that many ministers have become more concerned about public ministry, powerful sermons and visible spiritual activities while neglecting their marriages, families and personal relationship with God.
“We are all so concerned about the ground now that we almost forget what is happening in the closets. That is why we need a refresher. That is why we need revival,” she declared.
Using practical experiences from older Christian couples, Dr Ogunlana explained how many marriages survived because both partners remained open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, humility and reconciliation.
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She recounted how one minister eventually realised that helping his wife prepare the children for church would reduce tension in their home and improve their relationship.
“The same marriage challenges are there. The same misunderstandings are there. But the same Holy Spirit is still speaking and telling us what to do,” she added.
Dr Ogunlana stressed that God values relationships above outward religious activities, citing Matthew 5:23 to 24 and Hosea 6:6 to emphasise the importance of reconciliation, mercy and genuine love.
“God values right relationships more than your services,” she stated.
She further warned ministers against becoming too busy for their spouses and children in the pursuit of ministry engagements, noting that many homes are suffering neglect while ministers focus heavily on church activities.
“Marriage is like a garden. You must keep tending it every day. The moment you neglect it, weeds begin to grow,” she said.
According to her, Christian homes, especially those of ministers, remain critical examples to believers, unbelievers and younger generations searching for hope and stability in marriage.
“Some people never saw healthy marriages while growing up. But when they come to church, they look at the marriage of pastor and pastor’s wife and say, ‘There is hope for marriage,’” she said.
She urged ministers and their spouses to intentionally rebuild communication, forgiveness, appreciation and emotional connection in their homes, insisting that revival must first begin in families before it can spread to the church and society.
The REFRESH 2026 Ministers Couples Retreat brought together ministers and their spouses for sessions centred on spiritual renewal, healthy marriages, family stability and personal revival.
